i should be working, i should be thinking, should be reading stuff and writing stuff. but instead i'm surfing the net, up and down. looking for clubs, bars and other entertainment to keep me busy maybe. to keep me from thinking. or rather... to bias my thinking. i like to worry and care about useless stuff and things that are none of my business, i spend my valuable time doing nothing of worth. and knowing this is nagging from inside, is annoying me, is crushing me. but i do it over and over again. i can't stop hurting myself, and dragging the whole world down with me.
but exactly today i don't want to be like this, i don't want to want to destroy. i want to be fab, i want to be pretty, i want to be sexy, flirty, catchy, lovely, sweet and witty. i want perfect hair and perfect style.
but maybe i should have thought about that... before i put the nail polish on which is a relict of my depression 20 minutes ago. i think i don't like it anymore.
but maybe he will like it... will you like it?
i'm not sure why, but i'm nervous...
autumn is here.
4 Kommentare:
oh weia, larifari!
du bist 27 jahre alt. komm mal klar, süße! alles ist super, no need for black nail polish.
und rauch nicht immer so viel! das ist schlecht für die haut, wie man auf dem käsestullenfoto sieht.
also ich find die haut gut
schickes Käsebrot, schicke Beine
leider kein dr karg... man kann ja nicht alles haben.
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